Five Tips To Understand And Have A Successful Mediation

Does your spouse want to try mediation?

Do you want to do mediation, but your spouse doesn’t want to?

Mediation is becoming one of the most fantastic ways to divorce and for good reason!

Since Covid 19, we have been doing online mediations which have served many couples who don’t want to wait until the courts are open again to go through their divorce. I hope you will be able to consider this kinder, gentler way as well and here are some things that might be helpful for you to know.

Divorce Is Life Changing

Divorce is the 2nd most stressful life event – the first being the loss of a spouse or child. Yet we often fail to realize the devastation and emotional loss involved. Mediation is a cooperative conflict resolution process designed to put control back in your hands. The two of you, with the help of a Mediator, negotiate your own voluntary agreement. The atmosphere that mediation creates is one of mutual respect, so that you have a safe place to talk free from interruptions, criticism, intimidation, and threats.

You and your spouse will agree to leave aside fault, blame or revenge and acknowledge that you are able to take responsibility for yourself and to be able to clearly express your wants, needs, reasons, and feelings. Mediation is a volunteer process that requires both of you to negotiate in good faith. It allows you to craft a resolution that is appropriate and unique to you and your needs. Each party must agree to full disclosure which means fully and honestly disclosing income, assets, and liabilities, and that there will be no hiding property, transfer or dispose of any real or personal property during the mediation process without the consent of the other party.

Five Tips That Will Help

Here are 5 tips that might help you understand if mediation could work for you: 

Tip #1

A mediator is an impartial third party whose role is to facilitate the process. A mediator cannot give legal advice, and doing mediation does not mean you do not need an attorney.  We strongly recommend each party have a consulting attorney to review any agreements made in mediation.

Tip #2

Treat your ex like a business partner or colleague. As difficult as it may be, you’ll want to try and take the emotions out of it and consider that you’re making a business deal now.

Tip #3

Stay on target and come to your mediation with an idea of what your goals are. Determine your “good, better, and best” offers. This is where a divorce coach can help you by doing pre-mediation coaching prior to your mediation.

Tip #4

Learn how to negotiate. Mediation is a negotiation which means you will have to give a little in order to get a little. These are skills you can learn and use to your advantage in your negotiation. A divorce coach can work with you to give you confidence and help you feel secure during the process.

Tip #5

Look into the future. It’s so easy to stay stuck in the past and how wrong your ex treated you. Determine what you want going forward and focus on your needs and desires.

This can be a wonderful way to go through a stressful time. Even if you think your spouse doesn’t want to use mediation or you’re dealing with a high conflict partner, there often is a way to do mediation.

As mediators, we are trained to help you under those circumstances, so you can always contact us and have a complimentary call to discuss these potential roadblocks.