Face it…if you’re going through divorce, or it’s already final, you’ve considered the wacky world of online dating. Once you make the announcement that you’re divorcing, you’re bombarded with “great advice” from friends and family. This advice ranges from ,“take time for yourself” to “GET OUT THERE AND HAVE SOME FUN!” You’ve also most likely heard of ALL the success stories out there too. Such and such got married! Blah blah met his SOUL MATE online. Well who doesn’t want to meet their SOUL MATE?!?
Curiosity can get the best of us, even me. So of course, there I was with my friend setting up my free account. Even just selecting a username was an ordeal. “Hot single mom”? “Lookin4Luv”? “New 2 the scene”? Oh how do I decide?? So like most others, I went with the quirky name I created for my email account so many years ago. I tried my very best to answer all the questions, the summary, the body type selection, my likes and dislikes. Having had previously dated and then married back before the internet, this was a whole new world to me. I felt like I was placing an order. Little did I know I’d have to keep sending it back.
Next, it was time to find the perfect profile picture (after 13 years of marriage it’s hard to find shots that didn’t include my ex, a child or have my wedding ring in it). I finally decided on a fun, outdoorsy shot, taken on an anniversary camping trip to be ironic. And there it was, my online dating profile and TING TING. I got a message!! How exciting! I guess I’ve still got it!
“Hey sexy wanna text?” Uhhhhhh…is this how it’s done nowadays? Cut right to the chase? Text? Do I give him my number?
Fast forward to several weeks later. There were lots of messages, some leading to phone calls, texts and even a date here and there. Others leading to total disgust and learning quickly how to block someone. Suddenly the real truth of all those well-meaning friends would come out, and nights would be spent sharing online dating horror stories. I could go into great detail here with funny stories, but I know if you don’t already have your own…you soon will.
It got to the point for me where I grew tired of putting any energy into it. I grew tired of going on what I thought was a good date, and never hearing from the man again. I grew tired of showing up for a “meet and greet” and the person not looking or even acting like they portrayed online. I came to realize that those friends who urged me to take time for myself were right. I was in no place to date, I had to heal myself, learn to love myself and then, maybe then, I could I consider it.
As you go through divorce, you’ll find yourself on your own path. As long as you continue to move forward, you can be assured it’s the right way. In the words of the great Martin Luther King Jr., “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
If you’re considering divorce, our team is here for you as a resource through this time. We’ve been through it, and can help answer any questions, and point you in the right direction to help keep you moving forward. If you want to schedule a complimentary consultation with us, just click here and a member of our team will be in touch within 1 business day.