By Kelly Greene
As you go through divorce you are hit with many realizations. Some enlightening, some painful. One of the hardest ones can be realizing you are no longer dealing with the same person you fell in love with and married.
When I made the decision to move out during my divorce, I fell into this old pattern of showing my ex all the possible rentals and even taking him with me to look at them. Even during our meetings with our Mediator and CDFA I often turned to him to answer questions, something I was so used to doing. I was out of touch with our finances, with our debt, with myself. One day I asked myself why? This was my fresh start, it was my chance to break free and start over. I had to stop relying on someone so unreliable.
So many times in that first year of divorce I’d reach for the phone to tell him something, only to realize he really didn’t care anymore. When I got in a car accident I called him first. I put him down as my emergency contact, I still relied and depended on him. It took me a long time and in many ways I’m still learning, that he’s not the same man I fell in love with. He doesn’t have my best interests in mind anymore. I’d be lucky if he’d answer the phone if there were an emergency. I had to cut the cord. I had to unfold my wings and find my independence.
Where was the man who pursued me so hard while we were dating? Where was the guy who always had a creative romantic gesture to show me? The guy who beamed with pride as I received my Master’s Degree.
Of course this lesson has repeated itself many times since my divorce 3 years ago. Medical coverage for the kids, pay child support each month, provide a safe and healthy home for our children? Of course he will! Well the person I had fallen in love with and married would have……
He had changed. He was suddenly someone so different. The reality set in.
Moving forward I have taken him out of the equation. I’m not only rebuilding my life, I’m rebuilding my confidence. As you move through your divorce process I urge you to educate yourself. Meet with a financial planner, create a budget for yourself. Think of not only the NOW but the LATER. What will it look like for you? Realize there IS a light at the end of this dark tunnel you are in.
Contact us to today to secure your financial future after divorce. You’ll be glad you did!