Surviving the Holidays During Divorce

Are you more than likely heading into your last Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah or Kwanza together as a traditional family? Sometimes the Holiday Season shines the spotlight on your marital troubles and a couple decides that divorce is the answer. Even if you do come to the decision that you are separating, no one really wants to spend the holidays planning a divorce. So, you decide that you just have to make it through these last days of the year then you can get serious about the next steps.

Help For The Holiday Season

That can make for a very stressful season. With some agreed upon ground rules, or even guidelines that you set for yourself, you can make it through. Here are some things to consider.

1. Knowing Is Half  The Battle

Just beware of how much stress this will cause.  You might feel a little better about having made the decision about what you are going to do but living in the holding period will still be stressful in itself. Be kind to yourself in light of this.1. Knowing is half the battle so just beware of how much stress this will cause.  You might feel a little better about having made the decision about what you are going to do but living in the holding period will still be stressful in itself. Be kind to yourself in light of this.

2. No Confrontations

While many of us find humor in the celebration of Festivus, (A Costanza family tradition from the sitcom Seinfeld) this is not the time for the annual airing of grievances.  You’ve already decided what to do, try not to wax poetic about why.

3. You Know Each Other’s Hot Button Issues

Please do not raise them.  Again, this may be the last time you have to put up with each other’s annoying holiday behaviors.  Let it slide this one last time.

4. Kids, Kids, Kids

Focus on the kids, and make sure that this last one together is okay for them. Or focus on the grandkids. Or your cousin and crazy aunt. Just pick someone else to focus on.

5. Avoid Each Other If You Have To

If you find that you cannot be civil and that the two of you together will ruin the last holiday for the family, be open to flexibility.  Christmas does not have to only be Celebrated on the 25th.  Maybe this is the year to start a new tradition of present opening on Christmas Eve at Mom’s and present opening Christmas morning at Dad’s.

Look To The Future

This can definitely be a tough list to check off, but you will reach the New Year one way or the other. Might as well take the smooth road through the holidays, then call us in January at Smarter Divorce Solutions to help make 2021 the best year yet! Also, click here for our list of Vesta divorce programs that might help you cope through this period.