By Kelly Greene, Guest Blogger

So you’re getting a divorce. I know what you’re thinking. You stayed home with the kids, you put your career on hold, you supported your spouse by tending to the home while he worked. And now this. You probably have very little retirement money saved, you probably aren’t sure if you could even get a job anymore.  You are starting to panic.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH! Ok first of all let me give you some honest advice from someone who was there: Don’t play the victim. Don’t play the poor single mom card.  Yes I know, he may have cheated, you didn’t see it coming, he’s flaunting his new young, hot girlfriend all over town while you sit at home in still wearing your maternity pants.

YOU WILL BE FINE. You really will. I promise you.  My news was dropped on me like a bomb. I shared my victim story with anyone who would listen. Woe was me, what would I do? I had stayed home with my kids, worked part time here and there, and although I had a master’s degree, I never really used it. My employment had provided us with our “play money”.  My head was swirling. I had visions of living in a shelter with my kids.

Then one day I decided to say “SCREW THIS!”  I was a strong and powerful woman!  I was going through what I always feared, but here I was tackling it head on! The world suddenly became my oyster.  I got out there and found a job that could support me and my kids.

GATHER YOUR TEAM.  Inevitably you will find yourself sitting in a divorce professional’s office at some point.  Choose your team wisely.  Partnering with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and a Mediator is a great, inexpensive option.  You may not feel it now, but you can walk away from your divorce feeling confident if you have the right team to support you.

CHANGE YOUR THINKING. This is the time to re-discover and re-invent yourself. Take full advantage of that! Go back to school or explore new careers, new hobbies, new interests.  Don’t get stuck and don’t feel like you need to sit at home and do nothing because of your children. Believe me, your children will see your strength and growth and feel empowered by it!  I can personally attest to that!  Not too long ago my teenage daughter told me that she’s really proud of me. She said I’m much nicer and happier since my divorce. She said when I was married I was just “Mom” and she really didn’t know anything about me.  I felt so grateful that she saw the positive changes and growth I had made since my divorce.

YOU CAN DO THIS!  Dig out those lacy big girl panties from the back of the drawer (or better yet go buy some new ones) and go tackle the world like the power strong warrior woman that you are!

Not sure where to start?  Contact us today for your free consultation!

Check out this great new book by Nancy Hetrick on navigating the often murky financial waters of divorce. 

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FREE Guide! 5 Ways to Prepare Your Client for the Divorce Process: A Guide for Therapists and Counselors

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